For You Scala Enthusiasts

On my way to a Jelly at sector 5 I walked past several streets which I had never seen before and stumbled upon a Scalagasse (Scalaalley or Scalalane):

I didn't know that Martin had already whole streets dedicated to his golden egg :-)

(In fact the alley is named after the Viennese priest Johann Scala (1816–1888), who was a member of the district council.)

The Lie

<fiction>
Let's start with a little story about an enthusiastic software developer called Bruno. The story begins with an interesting job offer: A well known company is searching for an experienced developers to enlarge an existing team due to an increased business demand. The company does software since more than 40 years and scores reasonable at the Joel Test.

The Interview
The company is looking for top developers, a difficult coding exam during the interview is making sure to weed out the less skilled ones. The exam contains of a full range of Java traps: Beginner mistakes, try-finally idioms, generics and even some Java Puzzlers.

Bruno is one of the best. He finishes the exam in no time and scores well. Two small mistakes he makes just manage to curb his enthusiasm. The interview goes on with questions about common Java frameworks, ORMs etc. For the first time since long he feels challenged and invigorated by the exam's questions and the interview. He asks his usual questions any serious developer should ask about a future workplace, e.g.: How complete is the build? How does the code look like? Are there many singletons? (Because he just hates singletons. They are pure evil.) He gets some reasonable answers and accepts the offer in the end. The world seems like a happy place.

A Happy Place?
What look's like the beginning of a happy story is in fact its end. As soon as he starts working for the company he discovers that the interviewers had been lying about some things. Maybe they didn't know (but ThreadLocals are still singletons, aren't they). Maybe they were in some state of wishful thinking, confusing planned things with reality. Maybe there were other reasons nevertheless Bruno is disappointed.

Even worse Bruno's work does not reflect the skill level suggested by the interview: Java 4, JDBC statement driven persistence, no challenges, no problems to solve. All he has to do is to make already deeply nested ifs a bit deeper to find a place for more business logic. Bigger changes are discouraged due to the fear of breaking anything. (This might be the case for most modern business applications based on legacy code. Their business logic winds itself in endless, cascading ifs through all layers of the code. Or when did you need to come up with a more complex algorithm than iteration the last time?)

Bruno doesn't want to quit. Running away just doesn't just feel right. He has high expectations. But as the relation with his boss gets worse he gives up and quits. Everybody including himself agree that he wasn't the proper guy for the job in the first place. Hmm. How could that happen?
</fiction>

The Essence of the Lie
It has been two years since I first realised "the lie" as what it is. There were times when it really bothered me, but most likely it's just another thing to consider when looking for a job. It's well known that there are at least two kinds of software people. Some call them developers vs. programmers, smart vs. non smart, craftsmen vs. hackers, experts vs. journey men, professionals vs. duct tape programmers, coders vs. "code monkeys", etc. The essence of "the lie" is that some companies looking for the first kind are in fact in need of the second.

This is not a rant against these second kind of programmers. There's nothing wrong with them. (Note: There is a negative undercurrent in duct tape programmer or code monkey but that's most likely due to the arrogance of us craftsmen. So I will stick with the term plain programmer.) For certain problems in certain environments the plain programmer is simply the better choice.

Anatomy of a Plain Programmer
Now I'll try to list some virtues of a plain programmer :-)

• There is no need for a plain programmer to know his or her IDE well, he just has to know the debugger, because that's the tool he will use most of the time to poke in the legacy code.
• And he doesn't need to know any advanced language features and God forbid he must not use them. (His peers will be confused, so he should better stay with the stuff everybody knows.) So for example there is no need to know concurrency. (Note: I'm not joking, I witnessed my boss questioning the usefulness of an internal training about Java concurrency features.)
• It's desirable that he doesn't think too much about his work, better cascade another if and change existing code as little as possible then mess with the underlying design. (Refactorings and design changes almost always spoil dead lines, esp. when they were ridiculous in the first place.)
• He has no ambitions and does not feel the need to change already messed up processes.
• And last but not least he has to have a high capacity for suffering. He will need it.

In my experience it's more about the environment enforcing or at least encouraging these behaviours than someone just wanting to be like that. Less aspiring people with a high tolerance to discouragement just happen to endure it longer.

When Hiring
So next time you need a programmer make sure you know what kind you need. Don't lie to yourself. Don't give in to wishful thinking. It might not be comfortable for you but your project/organisation might be a mess. If you are in such a situation that you need a plain programmer, hiring an expert developer is just a mistake. You don't need a rock star programmer to churn out another business rule. Don't ruin another craftsman's life by sending him into a battle he can't win.