I find your lack of tests disturbing

Classics never get old. Like with Shut up and Write a Test, I am reposting an old meme about lack of tests, see its preview on the right. Lack of tests is a direct result of not following the prior advice when to write tests. ;-) In many coaching discussions I need to fall back to the fundamental basics and I cannot allow such a gem to vanish. Usually I find the lack of tests in my client's code base disturbing.

Origin
The image was posted on rubystammtisch.at, a site which ceased to exist long time ago. I downloaded it at the 25th of March 2009 for a presentation held at the local user group. The meme is a variation of Darth Vader's "I find your lack of faith disturbing", used as a phrasal template where "faith" is swapped with other words. Now that I have researched the origin of the image, I could re-create it using Meme generators. I will not, a classic is a classic. (And again, during writing a blog post, the process of writing is valuable and I learn on the way by organising and structuring the material. That is why I recommend writing as a learning and teaching activity at the same time.) Unfortunately the original image is only 400 pixel width, printed versions will be fuzzy. It might use it on my upcoming Code Cop Veto Cards, similar to my Achievement Appreciation Cards, as cards require smaller images with less detail.

I find a lack of tests disturbing.

Unusual Personal Branding

I like personal branding and use a lot of branded items. Besides my obvious Code Cop business cards, I use "Code Cop approved" buttons and stickers as giveaways. I wear my Code Cop shorts and hoodies when meeting new clients and when speaking at conferences. I enjoy keeping track of my reading progress using my Code Cop hand crafted book marks. What else could there be? After the embroidery prototype I was looking for something new to add to my branding toolbox.

Branding Iron
I have no memory of how I ended up with the idea, but I got a Code Cop branding iron. No I do not own any cattle or sheep which I need to mark, but at least "branding iron", gives a new meaning to "developer branding". My branding iron, see its picture on the right, needs to be plugged into electricity to warm up and after ten minutes it is ready. I have no idea how I will use it professionally - I am not selling anything in wood crates that could be marked - but I have a lot of fun marking everything in the house: For example, all my Escrima sticks and tool handles are clearly Code Cop's now.


Medallion
Later, after watching Netflix' The Witcher, I toyed with the idea of a Code Cop medallion, like Geralt is wearing. The Witcher's medallion is pretty large and has a raised and relief design, which means part of the silver wolf's head has a 3D effect. I searched online shops for some month for custom pendants. Most places offer two dimensional ones, using vector graphics to drive the cutting or engraving machine. I tested one such design with a simple pattern. The pendant was fine but it was too thin and flat for me. That was not what I had envisioned.

Eventually I found Lucas from Valeria Custom Jewellery who offered similar custom pendants. He 3D printed a mold and casted silver to create the three dimensional form on top of a large medallion. He sent me several work in progress images to check. During the whole process the cost went over the top, as I wanted a certain (too) large size, then shipping and tax for goods from overseas added on top. The total cost makes me wary to wear it. Further my wife keeps reminding me that I am not a rapper with their oversized and lavish jewellery ;-) While I am not wearing it, my Code Cop medallion is my most favourite branded item, sitting on my work desk right in front of me.


To make my medallion more "magic" like Geralt's one, I fancy some engraving at its flat, smooth back. Maybe some piece of source code that is of general significance? Which code would that be? Surely code like the Apollo-11 guidance system or the first Linux kernel are relevant. There are some collections like Computer History Museum's source code. Usually these are many pages of assembly. As the medallion is small compared to that, the code would have to be really short, a few statements at most. Maybe I will go with Greg Walsh's famous Fast Inverse Square Root calculation from Quake III source code: 0x5f3759df.

A New Dog

Last year our dog Ruby died. We took some time to cope with the loss and now is the time for a new dog. After we loved a Great Dane once, there is no other dog we want. Here is a picture of our new puppy Ronja:


While I chose the name of our previous dog - Ruby - my wife chose the name of this one. Ronja or Ronia is the daughter of the leader of a clan of robbers. Obviously she has little manners and does what she likes - and that is exactly the nature of our little Ronja ;-)

Raising a Puppy
Like software development, raising a puppy is a detailed process which can be improved continuously. Today we know more than ten years ago and we want to do much better. There are many misconceptions how to raise dogs and I learnt again that knowing how to handle certain situations is not enough - I have to practice them. For example, grabbing the puppy on time so it will not pee on the carpet is a skill. If you ever plan to raise a puppy I recommend to check out the books by Ian Dunbar, BEFORE You Get Your Puppy and AFTER You Get Your Puppy. These are small books, fun and easy to read. Both books are provided as e-books courtesy of simpawtico dog training in the downloads section. And even if you do not own any dogs, reading these books will help you understand why dogs behave how they do - especially if they have been trained badly.

Code Cop Embroidery

Some time ago fellow software developer Andre Fedorenko got himself an embroidery machine as hobby project. He had a lot of fun with it and played around with different materials, yarns and designs. When he showed off one of his new designs, I joked that he should create a Code Cop for me. And so he did. Small embroidery often comes as patch or badge. The photo on the right shows a classic take on the Code Cop logo. Now I just need a grand short to wear this with dignity.

By using an embroidery machine, the problem is not the actual stitching, but the programming of the machine, i.e. digitising the image. Andre explained that when digitising for embroidery one has to consider how the thread is going, e.g. for the left bar of the C the thread is horizontal whereas for the top of the C it has to be vertical. I would say that he did a great job, the accuracy and detail of the badge is amazing.

And then, when we met the next time, he surprised me again by saying "hey, you forgot your bag" ... and passing me a long cotton bag featuring a larger embroidery of my logo.

How awesome is that! Thank you so much Andre.

In Memory of Ruby

Meet Ruby, our dog. Ruby was a Great Dane. If you are not into dogs, Great Danes are known for their size, being one of the largest dog breeds in the world. Great Danes are also known for their friendly nature and are often referred to as a "gentle giants".


Ruby lived well beyond the average lifespan of her breed of six to eight years and passed away last month with an age of ten. She died of old age in our arms. This was - and still is - a sad and painful situation which only dog lovers can understand.

(And of course, Ruby was named after the Ruby programming language, my favourite programming language of that time.)

This is the last time

It is August, it is hot and it is time to do some alternate work:


Quick Fix
Looking at the picture made me think. Every industry seems to have its quick fixes: Engineers use duct tape and WD-40. In software development, we take short cuts by violating existing structure, e.g. adding another conditional resulting in convoluted logic. And in the construction industry it clearly is the usage of polyurethane or spray foam. As every tool it has its use, and like in the picture it is especially useful for temporary work. Unfortunately most professional construction workers I commissioned wanted to use it for everything - like duct tape: A hole in the wall? Why use brick and mortar when it is faster to put some foam into it. A gap in the boards? Why care to work accurately when it is easier to close the gap with foam afterwards. Not enough steam brake to cover the ceiling? Let's fill the remaining area with foam. You get the idea. While some people like the speed such quick fixes provide, e.g. Joel Spolsky praises the Duct Tape Programmer, I do not agree. Anyway, this project must come to an end and I sincerely hope it is the last time. ;-)

Code Cop Knit Doll

Sometimes I present books to individual developers. On one side I am thanking them for "listening" to me - that is the good collaboration and supporting me - and on the other side I want to push them more into reading mandatory books. In preparation for Christmas I gave away a few pieces of Bad Tests, Good Tests by my friend Tomek Kaczanowski. Now imagine how surprised I was when Corinna repayed me with a Code Cop knit doll:

This is amazing. I love the number of detail she put on it:

• I am obviously a cop with both gun (on my right side) and handcuffs (on my left side). The doll is also showing my age, especially the wild hair, grey beard and round belly. ;-)
• There is the Ruby Logo on my police cap and chest. I did not know how much I evangelise the use of Ruby. It is true, Ruby is my favourite programming languages, although I am not using it that often any more.
• I am going nowhere without my own keyboard, so there has to be a Das Keyboard in front of me at all times.
• One of my mantras in trainings is to "Refactor Mercilessly". It seems I am using that one a lot.

Merry Xmas Everybody!

Same procedure as every year

One advantage of freelance work is that I can take as many days off as I like. Since 2013 I am not visiting clients during summer, instead I am working on a different project. This year, my wife wants us to reach production, I am pushing hard, working 14 hours some days.

In the meantime

Oops, summer is almost over and there are no new blog posts. But as you can see, I have been busy...

The picture does not show me but my wife, the whole family is working hard on the current project.

Unfortunately the building is not "soft" and the planned refactorings are difficult to implement.

Code Cop Kofler

Summer began last month in Austria and I went abroad and got myself a lovely souvenir: a carved wooden desk name plate. I was not sure what to write there and thought about my twitter name but did not trust the artificer to cope with the @-sign and ended with some kind of hybrid name:


In hindsight I was clever not to ask for something complicated because the guy messed it up twofold and did not even get the letters of my name right. Nevertheless it is an icon of my office and I love it. If only I had a desk to put it on.

Awesome Book Marks

Since the beginning of code-cop.org I have put strong emphasis on my personal branding. Till now I have created various t-shirts, business cards and buttons. I use these buttons to award conference speakers who delivered good presentations and to thank contributors who helped during Hackergarten. But now my mother-in-law excelled all of them. See my new hand embroidered book marks:


These are some awesome masterpieces! Thank you Lidia.

Finally a Proper Keyboard

At last GeeCON I met Hamlet D'Arcy and he distributed keyboard stickers with IntelliJ IDEA's keymap. I had them lying around for some time because I did not want to put them on my primary keyboard (because it does not have any labels). Last week I cleaned my old Silicon Graphics keyboard and boosted it with these stickers. Doesn't it look great?


I had to customize the stickers to my German keyboard. The Shift and Enter keys are shorter and I had to cut their stickers. Then I thought about changing the keymap inside IDEA and to put the stickers on the keys where they would be on an English keyboard. But I got confused, and in the end I put the stickers on their according places. I only changed the binding for [ to ö and ] to ä because 8 and 9 where [ and ] are on, were already taken.

For You Scala Enthusiasts

On my way to a Jelly at sector 5 I walked past several streets which I had never seen before and stumbled upon a Scalagasse (Scalaalley or Scalalane):

I didn't know that Martin had already whole streets dedicated to his golden egg :-)

(In fact the alley is named after the Viennese priest Johann Scala (1816–1888), who was a member of the district council.)

Java is So Old-School

This is going to earn me some flames - but wait for my explanation. The demise of Java has been discussed again and again since some time and here is its proof: Yesterday I visited a jumble market organised by the local Scout group. They offered many things for charity and had them well sorted. When browsing through their stock of cups, I found this little one:


Well, Java really has to be old-school if its cups are sold on jumble markets ;-)